1-Listen actively. When your husband expresses an opinion or a thought, pay attention. This shows you respect him and his views and nothing pleases a man more.
2-Dress pleasantly/attractively. Mostly women dress properly when going outside and at home they wear worst clothes..U should dress urself so that ur husband will feel good when he looks at u...
4-Say thank you with a smile. When your husband does an odd job around the house, thank him like you really mean it. He will know that his help is not taken for granted and he will be happy to do more.
5-Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug.
6-Prepare his favorite meal. After he returns home from work on an ordinary day, surprise your husband with his favorite dinner. He will not only be glad to have the food he likes best, but will appreciate the time and effort you put in preparing it.
7-Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break
8-Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”… because unlike women, men’s thoughts are as random as the results of a Google search.
9-Give your husband a nice massage, after a particularly exhausting day at work.
10- Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother. Treat his siblings as ur siblings and his father as ur father and u would see then how much he will respect u
11-Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam
12-Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
13-Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so confident about (looks, intelligence) etc. This will build his self-esteem.
14-Tell him he’s the best husband ever.
15-Call his relatives for a lunch or dinner at your home.
16-Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
17-When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re interested.
18-Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complaint about.
19-Help him to find and build his inner strengths and skills.
20-Encourage him to do good deeds.
21-Share Islamic knowledge with each other. Try to watch Islamic channels together so that u both can learn.
22- If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it, insha Allah.
23-Thank him sincerely for providing you with everything.
24- If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something.
25-When you’re mad at him, don’t say “YOU make me furious”, rather, “This action makes me upset”. Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him.
26-Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration.
27-Let him chill with his friends without guilt, especially if they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t feel “cooped up” at home.
28-If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. Really.
29-Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings
30-Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
31-Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, go on the internet and read some jokes, and then tell them to him.
32-Tell him you’re the best wife ever and compliment yourself on certain things you know you’re good at.
33-Learn to make his favorite dish.
34-Don’t ever, EVER talk bad about him with ur friends or family unnecessarily.
35-Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re a housewife, take online classes and get active in your community. This will make you happy and a secondary bonus is that it impresses your husband.
36-Husband and wife should discuss and communicate with wisdom with each other to convey what they like and dislike of each other to do or not to do. NOT give command or instruction like servant. Because Allah says in quan “They are garment to each other”
37-Tell your husband you love him many many times.
38- Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so he is always looking fresh and crisps.
39- Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day, every prayer. Ask him to protect that bond from Shaytaan. When a lesser devil destroys the love between spouses, he is the most beloved of Shaytaan.
40-The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Try to make his favorite food
41-Always let him know that you appreciate him working. It makes it easier for him to go to work.
42-Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities can be gifts.
43-Listen to him. (Even when he talks about extremely geeky things like Queries, Tables and other boring things.)
44-Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies.
45-Take care of your skin, esp. facial. Face is center of attraction.
46- Learn tricks and “techniques” to please your husband in intimacy. Of course goes both ways.
47-When you are sitting together, quietly slip your hand into his. Your husband will love the easy expression of intimacy between you two.
48- If you are not satisfied intimately, talk to him and tell him. Help him or provide resources, don’t wait till matters become worse.
49-Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time
50-Don’t discuss important/controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find right time for right discussion.
51-Learn to compromise
52-Respect his rights
53-You have to know about the financial conditions of your husband so that you do not demand a thing that is too hard for him to buy. Because if wife demands a very expensive thing which husband couldnt buy then he becomes mentally tensed and sometimes he does not tell her wife about that
54-Ups and Downs are a part of time. You have to keep your behavior with your husband same in both times. Else he will be broken. If any calamity strikes him make him sure that you are with him and will be always
55-Share your happiness and sadness with him.
56-Accept him as is, he is a package deal.
57-Send your husband a text message out of the blue with a message of love.
58-Send him an email without a reason.
59-Ask him to buy gifts to his parents and siblings.
60-Write love notes or poems and place them in the book he's been reading.
61-Teach your children to respect and honor their father.
62-Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
63-Call your husband with the best names, cute nicknames, and names he loves to hear.
64-Always give him pleasant surprise.
65- Preserve and guard the tongue.
66-Expect, accept, and overlook his shortcomings.
67-Expect and respect his jealously.
68-Put food in your husband's mouth.
69-Leave the past for Allah, don't dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
70-Don't ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.
71-Avoid being harsh-hearted.
72-Respect and show that you appreciate his thinking.
73-Respect and understand him when he might not be in mood for intimacy.
74-Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.
75-Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
76-Have a good intention for him.
77-Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of you to pray at night whenever you can.
78-Let him have the TV remote. Granted, that you wish your husband spent more time with you, than watching the sports channel/NEWS, but it will make him happy.
79-Find a quiet moment with your husband to whisper “ I love you” in his ears. If you have already said it, say it again. You can never say these three words too often and you can be sure, that every time it will make your husband glad, he married you.
80--Hold his gaze. When you are speaking to your husband or listening to him, make sure that you keep eye contact. This will assure him of your attention and your respect, which is empowering to any man.
81-Take care of his money and properties. A woman came to ask the Prophet (peace be upon him) about some matter, and when he had dealt with it, he asked her, "Do you have a husband?" She said, "Yes." He asked her, "How are you with him?" She said, "I never fall short in my duties, except for that which is beyond me." He said, "Pay attention to how you treat him, for he is your Paradise and your Hell." (Ahmad, al-Nisa'i Al-Targhib wa'l-Tarhib, 3/52)
The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said:
"Any woman who dies, and her husband is pleased with her, will enter Paradise."
[Ibn Majah, Book 1 Hadith 59
The parts in Bold I find very much interesting, I have no doubt a lady observing all these rules would have an everlasting happy Family.
If I have a wife doing all these (81), Walahi
she would be the queen of my Empire
Although all theses cant be achieved at a time, working on them one point at a time consistently would make the Magic.